Friday, June 23, 2006

Internet Safety

Dear Lisa,

I have a 10 year old daughter who is becoming increasingly interested in the internet. I am aware of the dangers of online predators and would like information about how I can prevent an encounter. What do I do if I find inappropriate information on the internet or if I am suspicious of a predator? Are there any warning signs that I should be watching for?

“Stopping Predators on the Internet”

Dear “Stopping Predators on the Internet”,

Unfortunately the same internet that we value as a source of information is the preying ground for sex offenders and child predators. It saddens me to report that based on a nationally representative sample of 1,501 children and teenagers between ages 10 and 17, 19% were the targets of unwanted solicitation during a 1 year period. Ten percent of the solicitations were defined as aggressive, where the perpetrator asked to meet somewhere. Twenty five percent of the children reported at least one unwanted exposure to sexual material the previous year and 8% of the images reported involved violence in addition to sexual content. (1) These alarming statistics reinforce the need for parents to monitor their children’s online activity and teach them the risks of internet use.

Children at highest risk for unwanted solicitations include girls, older teenagers, those using the Internet more frequently, those participating in chat rooms, those communicating with strangers online and troubled youth. There are some simple measures that you can take as a parent to protect your child from predators. It is recommended that Computers be placed in a common area, not in a child’s bedroom. It is more difficult for a predator to engage in a conversation and go unnoticed if the screen is visible to family members.

It is important to educate your child about internet safety, explaining to her that adults who may want to hurt her can disguise themselves as children who want to be her friend. Children may not understand that predators will lie and claim that they are a child of the same age and with the same interests. Some predators may send a fake picture of a child, claiming that it is their picture and then pressure your child to send their picture in return. Children need concrete guidelines specifically listing who they can instant message, who they can email and what sites they are allowed to go on.

It is not good enough to say, “Do not talk to strangers”. In my practice I found that children insist that they didn’t talk to strangers online, but when asked who they spoke to, parents were quite surprised with what their child had to say. The child’s definition of stranger and the parent’s definition of stranger were two different things. I’ve had children admit to talking with a friend’s uncle, a neighbor’s older cousin or a friend’s mother’s boyfriend. The children/teenagers do not realize that it is inappropriate because they do not view these people as strangers. In order to clarify who is an acceptable contact, parents should review email and Instant Message address lists regularly and maintain access to all online accounts.

Telling your child, “Don’t give out your name or address” is also not good enough. Predators may be more subtle and seek out information such as the name of a child’s team, the name of an ice cream store that they go to, or the name of their school. A child may give this information out not realizing that it can lead a predator to a place where they can be located. There have been many cases where I questioned an adolescent if they were aware that they shouldn’t give out personal information. They all answer insisting that they would never do this. Within seconds they admit to having a “profile” on the computer that includes not only their name, address, and interests but also their picture. They defend themselves by stating that they only send their profile to “friends”, not realizing that other people could gain access to this information.

Signs that your child may be involved with inappropriate internet activity include, turning off the computer or deleting the screen each time a parent walks into the room, unexplained gifts, packages received in the mail, and unfamiliar telephone numbers on the telephone caller ID. For more information about internet safety you can review the FBI’s Crimes Against Children Program publication, A Parent’s Guide to Internet Safety. (3)

If you think your child has been exposed to inappropriate internet activity or solicitations by a child predator you should report the incident to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) which is the federal agency in the United States that is responsible for receiving reports. Your internet service provider should also be alerted to any type of questionable online activity. The most important thing you can do is keep open communication with your daughter. It is important for her to know that she can come to you with any problem and know that you will be supportive and understanding. No matter what level of involvement your child may have had, it is important for you to reinforce that she is the victim. Unfortunately, 25% of the children and teenagers solicited reported high levels of stress after the solicitation incident and 17% of the incidents the children were very or extremely embarrassed. (1)

(1) Finkelhor, D., Mitchell, K., Wolak, J. Online Victimization: A report on the Nations Youth. Alexandria, VA: National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, Crimes Against Children Research Center; 2000:1-47.
(2)McColgan, M., Giardino, A. Internet Poses Multiple Risks to Children and Adolescents. Pediatric Annals. 2005;34(5):405-414.

(3) A Parent’s Guide to Internet Safety. Washington, DC: US Department of Justice, Federal Bureau of Investigation. Available at: http://www.fbi.gov/publications/pguide/pguidee.htm. Accessed June 2006.

Lisa Kelly R.N., P.N.P., C.
Certified Pediatric Nurse Practitioner

Pediatric Advice-Keeping Children Safe

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