Problem Focusing

Dear Lisa

I know I'm not supposed to compare my children to each other, but I can't help it. My 11 year old son is so difficult compared to my other two younger children. He can't seem to follow directions. All I have to say is get ready for bed and my other two children get their pajamas on and brush their teeth without a problem.

My oldest son can't seem to stay on task. An hour later, his pajamas are still not on. Forget about homework time. He comes home from school with papers all over the place, always forgets one of his books, and he doesn't remember his homework assignments. Doing homework is a nightmare. I have to tell him 100 times to do his homework and hours later it's still not done. I can't help but think there is something wrong with him.

"At the end of my rope- N.J."

Dear "At the end of my rope",

The first step is to talk to your son's Pediatrician or Nurse Practitioner about your concerns. They will be able to rule out any physical reason why your child doesn't seem to listen. Once a physical cause is ruled out you can ask your Pediatrician for a referral to a Neurodevelopmental Specialist or contact the Child Study Team at your child's school so your child can have a thorough evaluation.

There are some children with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) who do not necessarily have problems with hyperactivity but instead have a lot of issues with focusing and problems staying on task. There are also learning disabilities which present themselves with the same type of symptoms. Rather than try to punish your son for something he may not be able to control, I would investigate the reasons behind his behavior. A proper diagnosis will put you and your son on the right road, help you better understand his actions and give you the tools you need to address the problem.

I wish you well.

Lisa Kelly, R.N., P.N.P.,C.
Pediatric Nurse Practitioner

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